What's the Difference Between Limits and Consequences?
Lessons to be learnt from a bouncing ball, well worth a read.
Wednesday, 6 November 2013
Saturday, 2 November 2013
Weepy weekend
Feeling rather sad and weepy today, the heavy grey skies mirrors my mood however that will not stop me getting out into the garden to prune and tidy up my climbing roses before the harsh winter weather takes over.. such feelings are best acknowledged then told where to go before they take up too much head space.
Guess to feel sad is utterly normal after such a heavy week with all the mixed emotions that the doctor's initial diagnosis of deafness for little Angel brings into our lives. We took them to a soft play yesterday afternoon and while the eldest got busy socialising and playing chasing and jumping games little angel toddled around doing his own two year old things, mostly involving balls. Granddad nearly wept though when he lay down in the football area and two older children starting pelting him with balls and he just lay there....
We have all been looking at him through different lenses, even big brother (four years old) has seemed much gentler and more tolerant with him to mum and me, perhaps some of his roughness came from his frustration at not being able to communicate and play with him like other two year olds.
One huge positive is that dear daughter discusses it all with us and welcomes the research and information I pass on to her, I try to not overload her so as yet have only printed off http://www.ndcs.org.uk/family_support/understanding_your_childs_hearing_tests/index.html which neatly explains all the likely tests for deafness in young children. She obviously read it thoroughly as she mentioned the one sentence that mentions preauricular pits, little holes just like little angel has just in front of his ears - further research (googling) found that "Infants with preauricular skin tags or ear pits are at increased risk for permanent hearing impairment" so hopefully this will be a big clue to his diagnosis and treatment options.
Guess to feel sad is utterly normal after such a heavy week with all the mixed emotions that the doctor's initial diagnosis of deafness for little Angel brings into our lives. We took them to a soft play yesterday afternoon and while the eldest got busy socialising and playing chasing and jumping games little angel toddled around doing his own two year old things, mostly involving balls. Granddad nearly wept though when he lay down in the football area and two older children starting pelting him with balls and he just lay there....
We have all been looking at him through different lenses, even big brother (four years old) has seemed much gentler and more tolerant with him to mum and me, perhaps some of his roughness came from his frustration at not being able to communicate and play with him like other two year olds.
One huge positive is that dear daughter discusses it all with us and welcomes the research and information I pass on to her, I try to not overload her so as yet have only printed off http://www.ndcs.org.uk/family_support/understanding_your_childs_hearing_tests/index.html which neatly explains all the likely tests for deafness in young children. She obviously read it thoroughly as she mentioned the one sentence that mentions preauricular pits, little holes just like little angel has just in front of his ears - further research (googling) found that "Infants with preauricular skin tags or ear pits are at increased risk for permanent hearing impairment" so hopefully this will be a big clue to his diagnosis and treatment options.
Friday, 1 November 2013
A visit to the doctors...
Facing a new, extremely challenging, situation in our family life. It would appear that our youngest grandsons slowness to develop in speaking may be due to him being profoundly deaf. I am so pleased that daughter made an appointment to ask for developmental tests (long story why these been missed) and asked me to go with them. Poor boy didn't even flinch when doc made very loud noises right behind him.
Anyway, it is the start of making sure he gets the best treatment and therapies and as DD and I are very close, she asks for advice often, and we look after the boys three times a week, I will be calling on my inner strength to support them through whatever comes next after diagnosis ...
Having Gransnet editor-ing to do should help keep me sane along with mindfulness and meditation though any tips on grand parenting in such a situation gratefully received.
Anyway, it is the start of making sure he gets the best treatment and therapies and as DD and I are very close, she asks for advice often, and we look after the boys three times a week, I will be calling on my inner strength to support them through whatever comes next after diagnosis ...
Having Gransnet editor-ing to do should help keep me sane along with mindfulness and meditation though any tips on grand parenting in such a situation gratefully received.
Thursday, 24 October 2013
4 year-old is a bully! Help!
4 year-old is a bully! Help!
Oh dear, DD has just asked for my help with a situation just like the one outlined in this article, off to tightrope balance in a few minutes and hopefully she will not transfer her upset with the situation onto me....
Oh dear, DD has just asked for my help with a situation just like the one outlined in this article, off to tightrope balance in a few minutes and hopefully she will not transfer her upset with the situation onto me....
Tuesday, 22 October 2013
10 ways to beat CryptoLocker | Money | The Guardian
Beware this new online scam, you really can lose all your photos, files etc
A few sensible precautions will help minimise the chances of a CrytoLocker attack. So what are our top tips?
• Back up your files. If you use an external hard drive, don't leave it connected to your PC unless you are backing up. Alternatively, pay for an online back-up service – but bear in mind you may still be vulnerable if your backed-up files are mapped as a network drive. Check with your provider if you are unsure.
• Create files in the Cloud and upload photos to online accounts like Flickr or Picasa.
• Switch to a spam- and virus-filtered email service. Google Mail, for example, does not allow you to receive or send executable files (that can install viruses) as email attachments, even if they are hidden in zip files. (It also does not allow you to send them).
• Don't go to online porn sites, which are often the source of malware downloads. Take care when clicking on adverts; never open Twitter links and attachments from people you don't know or trust.
• Make sure your operating system is up-to-date with the latest security.
• Install the latest versions of your internet browsers and update add-ons such as Java and Adobe Flash.
• Get reputable anti-virus software and ensure you update it frequently.
• On Windows 7, double-check that you have set up System Restore points or, if you are using Windows 8, configure it to keep the "file history".
• Act quickly. If you do accidentally download a dodgy attachment, bear in mind it is likely to take some time for the encryption to take place. If you immediately download and run an anti-virus programme, such as the free anti-virus toolkit available from Sophos, it could destroy the CryptoLocker before all your files have been encrypted – however, you will permanently lose affected files.
• Encrypt the files you particularly want to keep private, such as documents containing your passwords or personal information, to prevent criminals from reading what's in them. Read this useful "Ask Jack" post on the Guardian technology blog to find out more about encrypting your files.
10 ways to beat CryptoLocker | Money | The Guardian
A few sensible precautions will help minimise the chances of a CrytoLocker attack. So what are our top tips?
• Back up your files. If you use an external hard drive, don't leave it connected to your PC unless you are backing up. Alternatively, pay for an online back-up service – but bear in mind you may still be vulnerable if your backed-up files are mapped as a network drive. Check with your provider if you are unsure.
• Create files in the Cloud and upload photos to online accounts like Flickr or Picasa.
• Switch to a spam- and virus-filtered email service. Google Mail, for example, does not allow you to receive or send executable files (that can install viruses) as email attachments, even if they are hidden in zip files. (It also does not allow you to send them).
• Don't go to online porn sites, which are often the source of malware downloads. Take care when clicking on adverts; never open Twitter links and attachments from people you don't know or trust.
• Make sure your operating system is up-to-date with the latest security.
• Install the latest versions of your internet browsers and update add-ons such as Java and Adobe Flash.
• Get reputable anti-virus software and ensure you update it frequently.
• On Windows 7, double-check that you have set up System Restore points or, if you are using Windows 8, configure it to keep the "file history".
• Act quickly. If you do accidentally download a dodgy attachment, bear in mind it is likely to take some time for the encryption to take place. If you immediately download and run an anti-virus programme, such as the free anti-virus toolkit available from Sophos, it could destroy the CryptoLocker before all your files have been encrypted – however, you will permanently lose affected files.
• Encrypt the files you particularly want to keep private, such as documents containing your passwords or personal information, to prevent criminals from reading what's in them. Read this useful "Ask Jack" post on the Guardian technology blog to find out more about encrypting your files.
10 ways to beat CryptoLocker | Money | The Guardian
Saturday, 19 October 2013
Loneliness and North Yorkshire | Gransnet Local
Writing as North Yorkshire | Gransnet Local I urge you to spread the word about Gransnet Local and help us combat loneliness, it is not an overstatement to say that loneliness kills.
This excellent blog post Loneliness | Abetternhs's Blog depicts an all too frequent scenario at a doctor's surgery then details key facts about loneliness and isolation, giving many research sources.
Personally, I have experienced different types of loneliness at different stages of my life. As a very young child I often felt like a cuckoo in the nest, especially when mother appeared most often to side with my sister. One example occurred on my 4th birthday, I recall having my hands heavily bandaged having fallen while carrying a milk bottle full of water from the outside drain for a pretend picnic, drain water because mother refused to give me any juice from inside. Having those bandages removed was agony as they were left on so long they had to be soaked and then peeled away.
Back to the birthday party, mother had hidden lots of threads off multi-coloured wool around the garden, the winner of the game to be the child who found the most, which I did so big sister promptly accused me of having cheated by watching out of the window while the threads were spread around. Mother agreed straight away and gave big sis the prize. The feelings outrage, isolation and injustice I felt as I knew I had not cheated have probably never left me and that plus many other events where I was excluded or denigrated contributed to a later period of total estrangment from mother and sister. What a poor lonely drab thing I felt then.
Even deeper was the period following mother and fathers divorce which coincided with big sis leaving for university and breaking up with the boy I thought was my first love. Later during a violent marriage our bed was the loneliest place you could imagine. Then later in my thirties came chronic illness - probably the most physically isolating cause of loneliness for me (even though I met my partner during that period) but also the period during which I think I have grown the most personally partly through learning to live with the limitations of my illness and partly through coming to know many new people through the internet and getting back in touch with some old friends. For me the internet is a priceless lifeline.
Yes, I have been depressed to the point of being suicidal but that was before the internet took it's current form and I would hope that the online support I know receive and see others benefitting from might have helped stop me sinking to such despair. I truly did not know what was happening when I became so ill and now see others going through being diagnosed with M.E. and fibromyalgia and the grief and confusion that brings being helped through by support forums.
There are a few of the reasons that I hope Gransnet Local does come to fulfil it's mission of helping combat loneliness and isolation. Anyone is welcome to join and use the forums at Gransnet North Yorkshire so please drop by for a chat about anything from local issues to your experiences as a grandparent and anything inbetween.
This excellent blog post Loneliness | Abetternhs's Blog depicts an all too frequent scenario at a doctor's surgery then details key facts about loneliness and isolation, giving many research sources.
Personally, I have experienced different types of loneliness at different stages of my life. As a very young child I often felt like a cuckoo in the nest, especially when mother appeared most often to side with my sister. One example occurred on my 4th birthday, I recall having my hands heavily bandaged having fallen while carrying a milk bottle full of water from the outside drain for a pretend picnic, drain water because mother refused to give me any juice from inside. Having those bandages removed was agony as they were left on so long they had to be soaked and then peeled away.
Back to the birthday party, mother had hidden lots of threads off multi-coloured wool around the garden, the winner of the game to be the child who found the most, which I did so big sister promptly accused me of having cheated by watching out of the window while the threads were spread around. Mother agreed straight away and gave big sis the prize. The feelings outrage, isolation and injustice I felt as I knew I had not cheated have probably never left me and that plus many other events where I was excluded or denigrated contributed to a later period of total estrangment from mother and sister. What a poor lonely drab thing I felt then.
Even deeper was the period following mother and fathers divorce which coincided with big sis leaving for university and breaking up with the boy I thought was my first love. Later during a violent marriage our bed was the loneliest place you could imagine. Then later in my thirties came chronic illness - probably the most physically isolating cause of loneliness for me (even though I met my partner during that period) but also the period during which I think I have grown the most personally partly through learning to live with the limitations of my illness and partly through coming to know many new people through the internet and getting back in touch with some old friends. For me the internet is a priceless lifeline.
Yes, I have been depressed to the point of being suicidal but that was before the internet took it's current form and I would hope that the online support I know receive and see others benefitting from might have helped stop me sinking to such despair. I truly did not know what was happening when I became so ill and now see others going through being diagnosed with M.E. and fibromyalgia and the grief and confusion that brings being helped through by support forums.
There are a few of the reasons that I hope Gransnet Local does come to fulfil it's mission of helping combat loneliness and isolation. Anyone is welcome to join and use the forums at Gransnet North Yorkshire so please drop by for a chat about anything from local issues to your experiences as a grandparent and anything inbetween.
Thursday, 17 October 2013
School run time
Where on earth has the morning gone? Got to get ready for the school run and being with the grandsons until 6pm...
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