Loneliness and North Yorkshire | Gransnet Local

Writing as North Yorkshire | Gransnet Local I urge you to spread the word about Gransnet Local and help us combat loneliness, it is not an overstatement to say that loneliness kills.

This excellent blog post Loneliness | Abetternhs's Blog depicts an all too frequent scenario at a doctor's surgery then details key facts about loneliness and isolation, giving many research sources.

Personally, I have experienced different types of loneliness at different stages of my life. As a very young child I often felt like a cuckoo in the nest, especially when mother appeared most often to side with my sister. One example occurred on my 4th birthday, I recall having my hands heavily bandaged having fallen while carrying a milk bottle full of water from the outside drain for a pretend picnic, drain water because mother refused to give me any juice from inside. Having those bandages removed was agony as they were left on so long they had to be soaked and then peeled away.

Back to the birthday party, mother had hidden lots of threads off multi-coloured wool around the garden, the winner of the game to be the child who found the most, which I did so big sister promptly accused me of having cheated by watching out of the window while the threads were spread around. Mother agreed straight away and gave big sis the prize. The feelings outrage, isolation and injustice I felt as I knew I had not cheated have probably never left me and that plus many other events where I was excluded or denigrated contributed to a later period of total estrangment from mother and sister. What a poor lonely drab thing I felt then.

Even deeper was the period following mother and fathers divorce which coincided with big sis leaving for university and breaking up with the boy I thought was my first love. Later during a violent marriage our bed was the loneliest place you could imagine. Then later in my thirties came chronic illness - probably the most physically isolating cause of loneliness for me (even though I met my partner during that period) but also the period during which I think I have grown the most personally partly through learning to live with the limitations of my illness and partly through coming to know many new people through the internet and getting back in touch with some old friends. For me the internet is a priceless lifeline.

Yes, I have been depressed to the point of being suicidal but that was before the internet took it's current form and I would hope that the online support I know receive and see others benefitting from might have helped stop me sinking to such despair. I truly did not know what was happening when I became so ill and now see others going through being diagnosed with M.E. and fibromyalgia and the grief and confusion that brings being helped through by support forums.

There are a few of the reasons that I hope Gransnet Local does come to fulfil it's mission of helping combat loneliness and isolation. Anyone is welcome to join and use the forums at Gransnet North Yorkshire so please drop by for a chat about anything from local issues to your experiences as a grandparent and anything inbetween.

School run time

Where on earth has the morning gone? Got to get ready for the school run and being with the grandsons until 6pm...

Social media, Gransnet North Yorkshire and social inclusion

I am going briefly discuss social media, the benefits of digital inclusion and Gransnet specifically. Tim Berners Lee, the inventor of the world wide web saw it’s potential as something much more than a tool for commerce, research or communication; rather it is a new way of thinking and a means to greater freedom and social growth than ever before possible.


Social Media: Are online websites that allow anyone to join and communicate with other website users, the five key elements of social media are: participation, openness, conversation, community & connectedness.

While there are some risks inherent in online social networking, often exaggerated by the mainstream media, there are many more potential benefits. Social networking can provide opportunities for new relationships as well as strengthening existing relationships, whether your family and friends are close to home or across the world. Facebook is probably the best known, then Twitter & there thousands more based on different interests or locations.


For example Facebook was a huge help when my daughter and family lived in Greece. We would chat firstly via Facebook chat by typing messages, we could also share photos and play Scrabble. later on Skype became available with free video calls To the eldest grandson I was mostly nana in the computer but I have no doubt that the daily contact and interaction we had via Skype contributed to the strong relationship with him now that they live nearby. First grandson arrived early and unable to change my flight daughter was in contact with me right up to the actual moment of birth, an amazing experience made possible by technology and social networks.


The Gransnet local forums are another form of social media and form the local face of Gransnet.com which is the largest social networking site for Britain's 14 million grandparents and follows in the footsteps of the hugely popular Mumsnet. It was launched in May 2011 and its forums cover news, culture, health, relationships, learning, food, gardening, memories and more. Forum discussions range from ageism in the NHS to coping with daughters-in-law; from childhood sweets and games to recovering from betrayal; from what the government should do about social care to the joys of winter.


Gransnet editor Geraldine Bedell added: "Our members have already started meeting up of their own accord and local sites will make that much easier. Occasionally in the past our members have admitted to sometimes feeling lonely and they love the way the site connects them to others. Gransnet Local will extend the support and friendship we offer online into meet-ups and will provide a forum to discuss everything that's going on locally."


So the local network aims to spread the established benefits of Gransnet into local communities, reaching out to those who are not yet online and giving them a fun reason (and helping them) to get connected. By offering peer-to-peer advice and friendship, Gransnet Local will help to pull together people who might otherwise feel cut off, helping to give them a voice in their community. The site aims to reduce loneliness among older people and to showcase the advantages of digital inclusion.
The local forums on Gransnet are a place to meet like-minded local people, exchange views and swap experiences and stories and hopefully join in our meet-ups. You'll need to register as a Gransnet member to post messages on the forums, but after that you can talk about whatever you like.


To conclude I would like to quote Harry Leslie Smith theguardian.com who says “Being online aged 90 has made my old age less lonely. Others aren't so lucky..


As grief over my wife and son eased, I wanted to join the land of the living. I wish more seniors could reap the benefits I have… Being connected to the internet opens up new vistas for its users. It can bring the planet and all its wonders to your laptop. It allows you to interact with so many interesting people, but always from a safe distance. As you age, your health and mobility may become impaired, so having the opportunity and the finances to get online makes life less lonesome. It can make you more engaged with your community and your family. It is as important as having a telephone, a stable bank account and a bus pass. All of those elements and access to a computer can make your senior years more pleasant and worthwhile.”


Meeting and interacting with new friends on & offline has never been so available and be an invaluable sorce of support during difficult times and great fun the rest of the time.
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/may/17/online-aged-90-less-lonely?CMP=twt_gu
Google: Harry Leslie Smith theguardian.com
Harry Leslie Smith is a survivor of the Great Depression, a second world war RAF veteran and at 90 an activist for the poor and for the preservation of social democracy. He has authored numerous books about Britain during the Great Depression, the second world war and postwar austerity

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Talking to myself..

on Facebook at the moment. I asked myself: "Why do some men start wearing Farrah style slacks & zip up windcheaters usually in poo brown or fawn and some women to crimplene outfits for example which instantly denote that one is, how shall I put it, a little past middle age?" I once had a passing fancy that the older women on the bus were wearing headscarves because they had such hectic sex lives once family caring duties were over that they had no time to do their hair, guess now it is because they have more caring duties than ever before. Anyway, back on topic why do you think some people seem to give up on how they look?

Autumn days, grandsons and colds

Darling daughter (DD), son-in-law (SONIL) and dearest grandson (DGS) arrived home from a very rainy holiday in Greece (where they lived until last October) on the coldest day of the autumn so far whereas it had been t-shirt weather until Wednesday. She certainly didn't look a happy bunny when she knocked on the door at 8am for the car keys - at SONIL's request as youngest DGS had her up all night as he has a cold and SONIL believes being out in the cold and wind causes colds - she reckoned there is no arguing with him even though like me she doesn't agree with that view or with using the car for a 5 minute walk each way... kept lips buttoned when he returned the keys as it is not worth getting into the middle of their disputes unless someone's well being is seriously at risk. When would you get involved (if ever)? I usually only get involved when directly asked for advice but always try to not play the blame game and remain neutral, not easy but meditation and mindfulness help. Ommmmmmmmmmmm

North Yorkshire Weather

Fabulous weather so far today here in North Yorkshire DD has told me that it is still raining on Zante with thunder and lightening thrown in for good measure so bad that she says she is really looking forward to getting home tomorrow, I cannot wait to see them and especially the grandsons. Hope the weather didn't spoil the holiday too much for the grandkids but kids are much more resilient and flexible when it comes to the weather don't you think?